Still Good //
Quite often I’ll be whipping out my notebook or the notes in my phone and I’ll be writing down incomplete thoughts, feelings or words I feel like the Lord is writing on my heart. Sometimes it’s even just one word, or things or places or ways I saw God that day. Things I don’t want to forget. Always with the intention to go back and write more about it or ask God what it means or why He said it. But, often times I don’t. Often times I forget. So in thinking and praying about how I want to write this post today, I heard God tell me to go back and look at my notes. So I did. And on March 18th I have a note that says ‘God is good’ - That’s it.
Now, in today’s mind, I read that and I just don’t want to hear it. It’s like when you’re deep in the valley and everything is falling apart- the last thing you’ll want to hear is that its going to be ok soon. Sometimes that’s the most irritating thing to me, because right now, it SUCKS. But you also know deep down that it’s what you needed to hear.
So, let’s go back to that. God is good.
I know that to be true because I’ve seen His goodness before. I’ve experienced it. I’ve witnessed it. In those moments, all I wanted to do was stand on a rooftop and proclaim how great my God was. All I wanted to do was praise Him for what He’d done. But, right now, I sit in the valley and all I can think about is what could’ve gone right, but didn’t. I think about how overwhelmed I am, and how I am hesitant in hoping for change any time soon. I know i’m not the only one. Sometimes we focus on all of the things that God could’ve done but didn’t.
It’s easy to oversee God’s goodness in stormy moments. Sometimes all you can see is the rain. But, on March 18th, I made a note saying that God is good, because He IS. We all know what the word “is” means and how to use it, right? Actually, I think the truth is we know what it means and how to use it before we really know what it means and how to use it. (Ya rolling with me here?) The word “is” actually means “be.” And, by definition, the word “be” means to exist, to occur, to take place, to occupy a position in space, to attend to, to come, and to go. It’s having the state, quality, identity, nature, or role as something or someone. God IS good. God BE good. Everything God does, everything He is, everything He allows will be used for, every place He inhabits, His very nature, who He is… good.
But what I also know, is that really and truly, we need this reminder. I needed this reminder. Especially when so much of everything around us is trying to convince us otherwise. It’s something we need to say and repeat and let fill our minds and our hearts until we believe it to be true to the very core of who we are. So then we act out of the belief that God is good. So that our very lives look different, so they look like God is good. Before “good” is even visible to our natural eye.
I want my life—my actions—to reflect my belief that God is good even when–especially when–my circumstances don’t necessarily say so. When my heart is heavy, when my eyes are tired, when my family is falling apart, when i’m out of work, or maybe working too much, loved ones are lost, a relationship broken. When all last resorts have been exhausted and there’s no more money in the bank or gas in the tank. When I don’t feel like putting my feet on the floor to face one more day. The list could go on and on, you fill in your own blank here… It’s in those times that I want to know and want others to see– taste and see– that God is good. To know that God “be” good and all He does and who He is, “is” good. Even in the midst of whatever it is you’re walking through or feel “stuck” in, others can see you and think, “Man, God is good.” Not because everything is perfect, not because everything seems perfect, not because of anything on the outside, but because of the way you reflect the image of the Father even when…even still.
That your heart may be broken, but you still choose to love others with your words and with your actions. That even when you have bills up to your stuffy nose, you still tithe faithfully. Even though you’ve been waiting on ‘the one’ for years and all your friends are getting married and you feel skipped over, you still celebrate them and you celebrate them well. When you didn’t get the job you wanted, you still trust and know and rest assured in the fact that God’s in that. There’s a reason and He’s there and all over it and for you and working behind the scenes in ways you may never know. When your doctor tells you you’ve lost your baby, but you continue to faithfully show up and serve in the kids church even though it hurts, believing that God is not a cruel God who would ask you to do something that blessing isn’t on the other side of. When God asks crazy faith of you, to step out and do something that doesn’t make sense, and quite literally may look stupid, that you do it and wholeheartedly obey because Him asking you is reason enough. When God tells you to put an end to the relationship you’ve been getting comfortable in, you do it with sweaty palms and a lump in your throat and a broken heart, knowing that God isn’t a God who withholds good things from His children.
Today I choose that path, even still.
I’ve linked a song below that has been encouraging to me, and helps me remember that despite how it feels right now, He is GOOD.
Love, N. x