Feeling Unqualified //
God has the power of doing all things on His own and yet... YET he saw fit for you and me to walk this earth so that he would fulfil his will for our lives. I am at the point in my life where i'm just seeing God order my steps and asking Him what to do next, and what 'next' looks like for me.
But along with this, I have learned that, as a human who can't see God's plan the way that He can, some things I feel firstly intimidated by, and unqualified for.
When I started this blog I had absolutely NO idea where it'd take me. I was DEFINITELY not anticipating so much love and success. But I actually put off making my first post for a long time, purely because I was scared that nobody would want to read what I had to say. I sat here at my computer and typed and typed but never published them.
I was so convinced that the majority of people would know more than me, therefore what I said didn't matter; or it just wouldn't be helpful. I would sit and pray for God to speak through me, for His words to flow onto this blog and that Christ would be known more deeply through whatever it was that I was writing about. I had never felt more unqualified. I thought, 'man, i'm sure there are a MILLION other blogs that are doing just fine, what's one more opinion going to do for this world'... I really didn't understand it.
But, as I have progressed and as this blog has grown, you all have been able to follow my growth and my learning. I may have started off without a clue on Earth on what to do, but I trusted that God had qualified me for this, even though I didn't see or understand how- and through that I have learnt that my experiences and past have actually prepared me and given me a lot of insight into the things I say today.
I learnt that a lot of you guys wouldn't be able to relate to what I write, or be inspired by it if I hadn't lived through those moments, I wouldn't be able to effectively prepare and encourage people through theirs. So, through feeling unqualified, but trusting God anyway, I actually found a lot of purpose- in now and in this blog, but also in the pain in my past.
As i've been moving into a new Season i've once again been asking God what it is that He's calling me to. It all feels and sounds INSANE to me. I'm like, "ME?!.... Are you SERIOUS?" ....and I'm sure that's what a lot of us feel like in these times- not only because it is largely the action of stepping into unknown territory and outside what we have become comfortable in, but because we cannot see the potential in ourselves like God can.
I was praying the other day about the future, and I was asking God to equip and qualify me for this next Season. I was asking Him to take away all thoughts and feelings of unqualification- and for my trust in Him to overtake all feelings. As I sat in that moment, God revealed to me a revelation that He had given me a while ago- but I actually brushed it off as a "yeah yeah ok" thing... And the revelation I'd had was 'when I feel unqualified for the position, I remember that the first breath He breathed into my lungs qualified me.'
W O W
I sat with that and I said, "God, I don't know how and why you chose me but you did, thank you for choosing me before I even came to this Earth"
and after that I just felt peace.
It occurred to me that it is also a huge humbling experience to be called to something. Because, God is God and He can get things done with or without me, His Will is done regardless.
But He CHOSE me.
AND He qualified me.
Phillippians 1:6 wrecked me after that- because this verse right here is a promise. It is a promise that whatever God is starting, He will continue to carry it, and He will bring it to completion. From that I had to remind myself that God started my life, that I was a blank canvas and He has thrown colour onto it that has become the story of my life... He has started this story and He is carrying me through it and He will finish the Good work He started. The same is true for you too- the beautiful painting He started, He will carry it right through to completion- and that it is His good work.
Through His good work, He is qualifying us- whether we feel unqualified or not, He will bring it to completion.
I think all of this comes down to whether we decide to say yes.
And i think it's important to also identify why we felt unqualified.
HE is the one who qualifies me for this position, and He wants me to do His Kingdom work.
Remember that because we are human, it is only normal that we get in our feelings sometimes. But what we feel isn't always true. Sometimes we can't shake it off, and once God reveals to us WHY we're having these feelings do they really go away.. God really wanted to make it known to me that every breath I take is a reminder that He has qualified me for what is to come, and the same is true for you. He wouldn't put you on a mountain that you are not capable of climbing!
It was so clear that God wanted me to come to this point and to learn all of this
I know that was a lot- but God is flippen powerful and sometimes ya just need to scream it from the rooftops- I have no rooftops left for the moment so here will do!
You are so qualified for what God is bringing you into.
Love, N. x